Episode 5: Drunken phone calls, spontaneous city dates, and the ultimate COVID relationship success story
Welcome to the fourth episode of Ordinary Love—a podcast where I sit down with couples and celebrate their love story! Join me as I hear about the big, small, beautiful, sometimes messy, and always special ordinary moments that make relationships incredibly extraordinary.
This week I got to sit with Jessy and Chelsea, two of my dear friends from college. Jessy and Chelsea live on opposite ends of the San Francisco Bay, but are still only a ferry ride away from each other. It was such a pleasure chatting with them and hearing the ways in which their relationship is special and unique.
Join us as they share:
♡ Instantly falling for each other
♡ Moving from San Diego to Portland to Hawaii to the Bay Area
♡ Focusing on HOW they argue vs. not arguing at all
♡ Starting new chapters and recalibrating needs and expectations of each other
♡ Surviving Devin’s PA school
♡ Proposing to each other and things not going to plan
♡ Navigating threats to same sex marriage in 2025
♡ Celebrating the simple things in life together
♡ Intentionally prioritizing rest and health together
...And more!
Scroll down for episode transcript ♡
Want to be on the podcast? Reach out today!
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Hi, welcome back to Ordinary Love, a podcast
where we sit down with couples and talk about
0:00:12.960,0:00:19.840
their relationships. I am Karina, your host. And
today I'm sitting with the lovely couple of Jesse
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and Chelsea. We went to college together.
Or actually, no, we didn't go to college.
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We went to the same college and we had the same
friends in college, but we actually didn't meet
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until after. Yeah. Um, that's so funny.
I pro forgot. Yeah. College by proxy. Um,
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so, okay. I would love to start with you
guys just introducing yourselves. Sure. Um,
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so my name is Chelsea. I don't know where I'm
supposed to look. You can look at me. You can
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look at Jesse. You can also look at the camera if
you want if that's not awkward, but Oh, yeah. No,
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that's fine. So, my name is Chelsea. You know
that. You know that. Maybe you don't know that,
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but my name is Chelsea. I'm 24. She her pronouns
and currently I am working at a lab in Valo. What
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kind of lab? Yeah. Oh, it is an oil conditioning
oil condition monitoring lab. Um, so we analyze
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a lot of lubricants like oils, greases, and um, we
also take a look at fuels, a bunch of other stuff.
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Not just that, it's it's a lot. For sure. For
sure. Thank you. My name is Jesse. I am 28 years
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old. Uh, I go by he him. Um, and I am a software
developer for a media company in the Bay Area.
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Wow. And where do you guys live? Um, I'm currently
living in American Canyon and I'm currently living
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in San Francisco. Jesse was saying earlier that
you guys live an hour away from each other about.
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Yeah. He said that sometimes you take the ferry.
I do. That's so funny to me. Not just sometimes,
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all the time, actually. Really? I literally
can't like you just like take a little boat.
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That's not probably what it's different in my
head probably. But no, it's it's a cute idea,
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right? Like it's just so it's so nice that it's
nearby, too. Um cuz the terminal is right at Val,
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so it's only like a 4-minute drive from my work.
Really? Yeah. So often if I'm like going straight
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from work to San Francisco, I literally just take
like a lift to the terminal and then it's an hour
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ride to San Francisco. Um and obviously public
transport is so much better in San Francisco.
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Yeah. And it beats taking like Bart or something.
I mean, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. I love
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that. Okay, we'll probably get into that
more later. Thank you guys for introducing
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yourselves. Um, if we could just start by going
through your guys's story and timeline. Um, it's
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funny. We are college by proxy. College. What did
you say? I think I I said that, but grammatically
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I don't think it makes sense. I don't think so.
I was like, "Ah, that sounds a lot of the things
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I say are not grammatically correct." It's going
purely on five. But yeah, I I just remember Jesse,
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we became friends after college. So, in college,
I was we were all part of the same student
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organization. And in that student organization
are different little like I don't even know what
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you would they call it aspects but they're
like groups subgroups camps subgroups where
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like they're focused on different things like
singing and uh like hip-hop dancing and we were
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all associated with Kasama which is the ballroom
dance group. Um and I was actually a co-cordinator
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when I was a sophomore so this was like 2015 or
so. And Chelsea is like my like great great grand.
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Yeah. I just think Yeah. Like uh but Chelsea was
the co-coordinator in what was it 2020? Oh my god.
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Let me 2021. That's when you were I believe so.
You were like the coordinator. I was. Yeah. We did
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everything online which is insane. It's easy. I
can't even I would love to hear about it one day.
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Yeah, someday. Cuz it was like a whole thing,
right? Like I was um co-cordinator at first, but
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then I became like main coordinator um online cuz
unfortunately my co-cordinator had to drop out.
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You were alone? I was. Um Yeah. Oh my god. Jennis
was alone, too, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. I don't
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know how y'all did that. Wow. I don't I don't
know either. Oh my god. So, not only were you the
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coordinator during CO where everything was online.
This is a ballroom dance troop, by the way.
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Like it's not even like like hip-hop dancing is
like you're just for the most part you're dancing
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by yourself, right? Ballroom dancing is like a
contact dancing where you need to dance with a
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partner. Partner dance and she did this alone. I
tried to do it alone. I am so proud of you. Thank
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you. Oh my god. I know. Honestly, like our lineage
was like full of people who were just so willing
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to support and help and I definitely utilized
that. Oh, good. I mean, it was so good to like
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even just know everyone like who came before
me, my predecessors. Pred terminology, right?
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Yeah. Oh my god. Wow. My ancestors not maybe my
forefathers. Um, how did we get here? Oh, yeah.
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I was like rambling and going off, but um, we were
all part of the same student organization. Is that
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how you guys met? I would say like the covid time
was definitely like a fundamental like aspect of
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the introduction story like how I view it in my
head. There are two times we met. The first time
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we met was actually back before co I think I was
staying over at uh our friend at the time but we
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didn't know each other at all. Like I met Chelsea
as like during a time when I think she was heading
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for class and I was just in the living room. I
can't remember the exact context of it. I don't
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that's not how I remember it really. No, I think
Okay, this is how I see it. This is how I remember
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it. It was like an evening and I think you were
there um and you were about to leave, but I was
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just coming in and we kind of just introduced I
we were introduced in passing. You're right. I was
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going to work. I was going to work at the coffee
shop where we worked and we were just about like,
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"Hey, nice to meet you." Yeah. Nice to meet
you. Cool. Yeah. Um, wow. That was the basically
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that was the full extent basically like our
interactions. But I remember that moment vividly.
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We like it was just kind of like a mutual friend
like the friends you kind of just like you friends
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of friends. It's like not really the environment
where like you could like start asking questions
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about each other or something. So it was just kind
of like that during COVID time. Now let me fast
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forward about a year afterwards. I'm actually back
in school um since I was taking a break um at the
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time. Wait, were you in Santa Cruz still though?
I was in Santa Cruz. Yeah. You just weren't I just
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wasn't in the school. Um so now that like the next
year um we happened and you know at that at that
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point it was fall so the schools were already shut
down. Everyone was like scrambling trying to find
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a way like how do we make the how do we make the
clubs work as it did in in this now COVID period
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time just like anything like through classes. It
was through Zoom. It was through Discord. Like all
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like whatever resources everything everything just
felt so disjointed but you know everyone like the
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feeling of trying to like get everyone together
was there and you know Chelsea was championing
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that. And I I knew like I wanted to do Kasama even
before COVID. Like I was like I'm gonna do this
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ballroom dance team because so many of my friends
beforehand came led this and it was like a awesome
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I thought environment to I just meet people and
just be a part of and I saw that Chelsea was the
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head of it. I was like I know her. I know her
through that one pass through. Okay. It was
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that only that one time. Yeah. Yeah. It was that
one time only. Really? Wait, sorry. Back up really
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quick. Whose house was it? Louisa's. Oh, okay.
You and Louisa lived together. No, we didn't. Oh,
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you guys were just both there. Yeah. No, I I was
I was good friends with Louisa um at that time and
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so like no connection to Chelsea whatso but she
was also friends with Louisa at the time. Shout
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out to Louisa. shout out. It was really funny
cuz I would often go over to her place cuz I
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was going through something at the time and you
know when you know you're going through something,
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you're trying to find that support and often times
you find yourself um gravitating towards a certain
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place and a lot of the times it was like you know
being with Louisa and like you know she was very
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very comforting you know she was she is a gem.
Yeah, truly. Yeah, she's a gem of a person. Yeah.
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That's so funny though. I didn't know the once the
club kind of started the cadence became once once
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a week we would just hop on the Discord or hop on
Zoom and do our practice. So Chelsea would like
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choreograph the set dance that we would normally
do in person but just kind of in front of a camera
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like once once a week we practice together and
then just kind of hung out. But I know I knew
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that it took a lot of like time and stuff to
prep for this anyways. Um, so like as part of
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like the organization like you know they have
like sometimes they have interns so like they
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help people like who help out the coordinators
do stuff. And so I actually volunteered to really
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intern. Yeah. So I was actually Chelsea's intern.
I did not know this good bit. Yeah. So for a bit
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or the whole time? For the whole time? For the
whole time. Okay. Was it just you? It was just me,
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I think. Yeah. So I Wow, this is so cute. This
is so cute. I know this. So work time worked,
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you know. So I was helping her and then um like
after like kind of like a while I was like I was
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like I kind of I think she's kind of cute, you
know. And then so I remember like I think the
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kind of like the the threshold where like it was
just kind of like a feeling to like oh my god wait
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a second maybe I like it was after like a Friday
night hangout session on call. You know I was with
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the my old college housemates and like we were all
like we were still we were all isolated at this
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point. Everyone else was working. Um, and I was
the only one in school, but I think we all just
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wanted to like party like, you know, like just
just like just like we did back in, you know,
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the days when they were still in school. Yeah. And
I think in doing so, I think I invited Chelsea to
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join and I think we hung out for a little bit
and then I just Wait, is this virtually? This
0:10:19.280,0:10:24.800
is virtually. So, this is all all every every bit
of interactions at this point was just virtual on
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Zoom. Oh, yeah. This cuz this was 2021. Yeah.
2021 I was still at home in American Canyon and
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I stayed there the entire time. Yeah. Yeah. So
all of our interactions were online. Everything
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that he's talking about right now. It was all
over Zoom. Mhm. That's wild. So you're like,
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"Oh, we were just hanging out every Friday night.
You guys were on camera." Yeah. Indicative of the
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times. Yeah. Right. I just remember uh this part's
like not PG really friendly, but we, you know,
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we drank our normal amounts and I just remember
I woke up in the morning kind of losing a bit of
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memory about what happened the night before and I
I'm like on the couch, not even in my bed and I'm
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like on the couch and I I check my phone and I see
that like on the phone log history a time length
0:11:18.160,0:11:25.680
of called Chelsea called to Chelsea for like 4
hours and this was like at you don't remember
0:11:25.680,0:11:36.800
this midnight to 4 in the morning I remember
the evidence of it I remember I am so excited
0:11:36.800,0:11:42.320
to hear your side of this oh my god and and I
just remember like oh my god like did I leave
0:11:42.320,0:11:50.480
you like on like a phone dial Apparently, we had a
full ass conversation like something like that. I
0:11:50.480,0:11:58.880
don't know. But I was not I was there but I wasn't
there for 4 hours. That's Yeah. Okay. And then So,
0:11:58.880,0:12:03.360
what time did you wake up that morning? Do you
remember? Like 8 or 9. Okay. So, it had been like
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four or five hours since you hung up basically.
Yeah. I was like, did I annoy you? Like, I'm
0:12:07.760,0:12:12.720
so sorry. Like, did I mean like I didn't mean to
like, you know, like drunk drunk messages the next
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morning regret. It's just like I hate I was like
why why am I like this you know re-evaluating your
0:12:18.480,0:12:25.040
life reevaluating everything. Oh my god. Okay. I
have to know. Okay. So I remember this is what I
0:12:25.040,0:12:28.640
remember. I don't remember a lot of details.
We actually before sorry before going is it
0:12:28.640,0:12:34.560
was it just you two on call? Yeah. Getting drunk
together? No. No. I was completely sober. I was
0:12:34.560,0:12:40.880
completely sober for the entire day before that
and the four hours we were on call. Oh my god. So,
0:12:40.880,0:12:46.400
you were just drinking with her, but like Yeah,
basically. Okay. I don't I don't know why I was
0:12:46.400,0:12:50.960
imagining like like a group hangout cuz you know
how we used to do those YouTube festivals and
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stuff like that and we would like all watch them.
Were you ever on one of those? I was. Yeah. But I
0:12:56.400,0:13:01.200
remember when our like Did we meet No, but we
were Well, yeah, cuz like I met you virtually,
0:13:01.200,0:13:05.200
I think. I think I met you virtually, too. Yeah,
I think I think we were cuz we were supposed to go
0:13:05.200,0:13:09.200
to We were supposed to go to Yeah. So, I was
living actually in the apartment afterwards,
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but we were I remember like I was in the friend
group that was going all planning to go to Beyond
0:13:14.080,0:13:19.440
Wonderland and then they cancelled that. So, then
during that summer before the summer before I
0:13:19.440,0:13:25.280
got back to school, I met you through like one of
those online, hey guys, let's just drink some wine
0:13:25.280,0:13:30.960
and just chill out on YouTube. That's so funny. I
Yeah, that's how we met and then we met in person
0:13:30.960,0:13:36.000
for the first time at the festival. Oh my god.
Okay. So, it wasn't that that what you guys were
0:13:36.000,0:13:43.360
doing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was Well,
one half of it was. Oh my god. Okay. So, I have to
0:13:43.360,0:13:48.960
know. Oh my gosh. I can't remember if this was a
Friday. Um, it must have been one of our practice
0:13:48.960,0:13:53.200
days cuz I remember we were doing something else
during the day, like we were on call or talking or
0:13:53.200,0:13:57.840
something. With the whole team. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And then later on, like this was, I think, a time
0:13:57.840,0:14:03.280
where we were definitely talking over text at this
point, like we were talking a little more. Um,
0:14:03.280,0:14:08.400
and later that evening, you guys, I think you went
out somewhere and then you came back. But he got
0:14:08.400,0:14:13.760
home and then we were texting and like it was kind
of that development of like maybe like 30 minutes
0:14:13.760,0:14:19.440
before it was like comprehensive and then later
on it was like some gibberish I was truly trying
0:14:19.440,0:14:24.320
to make sense of cuz I thought he was really was
trying to say something to me. Not there was not
0:14:24.320,0:14:29.360
a thought behind it behind that. Trying really
hard. He would say something about paramore,
0:14:29.360,0:14:36.400
something about chess. And then I got a call and
I was like, "Oh, cool." You know, why not? It was
0:14:36.400,0:14:42.000
like midnight at this point. Um, but by then he
had already been like pretty incomprehensible
0:14:42.000,0:14:47.440
on text. Yeah, I was curious. I was like, you
know, I hope everything's okay. But most of it
0:14:47.440,0:14:51.600
was just curious. So, I answered the call and
then I was like, "Oh, okay. This makes sense."
0:14:53.680,0:14:59.840
But yeah, no, it was literally just me on call
listening to what he had to say. And you know,
0:14:59.840,0:15:04.720
he was talking about a lot of things. A
lot of things. I mean, it was four hours.
0:15:04.720,0:15:09.360
Yeah. If you didn't, if you didn't talk
much, you must have said a lot of things.
0:15:10.400,0:15:15.600
I think like maybe the day after I was
like I I I had this question and I was
0:15:15.600,0:15:23.680
like I was like is she in a good space if
she's willing to endure that for 4 hours?
0:15:23.680,0:15:28.080
It was a Friday night. Yeah, it was a Friday
night. It was co What was I going to be doing?
0:15:28.080,0:15:35.280
Literally exactly this is this is me living
vicariously through your party self at that time.
0:15:36.080,0:15:43.040
So, how did that call end from what you remember?
You don't remember, but it did he say good night?
0:15:43.040,0:15:48.720
Did he like or did he just fall asleep? Uh,
I don't know if you want me to say this. Uh,
0:15:48.720,0:15:54.080
I don't even know you. I recalled everything
to you. I remember texting you like I texted
0:15:54.080,0:15:58.800
him a whole rundown of how the call That's
right. She did. Did I say he was like, "Oh,
0:15:58.800,0:16:04.080
I don't remember it." I'm like, "I remember."
Um, so our one of our other friends was there,
0:16:04.080,0:16:08.400
too. It was um someone who was staying over,
not one of your housemates. Um yeah, it was
0:16:08.400,0:16:15.200
Tito. Um and he was there. He joined us on call.
He saw Jesse was on call and we knew each other,
0:16:15.200,0:16:22.480
Tito and I. So he was there. Jesse became quite
tired and then you know he just kind of cut off
0:16:22.480,0:16:28.640
like that was the end of the call. Like like
he didn't hang up but I saw him visually he
0:16:28.640,0:16:35.200
was done. Yeah. No more. Yeah. Yeah. He had said
everything he needed to say. Exactly. Um, so Tito,
0:16:35.200,0:16:38.960
luckily Tito was there and he helped him like,
you know, get to bed and just, you know, put him
0:16:38.960,0:16:44.960
to bed. And after that, Tito and I conversed for a
while. So it was it was four hours of Jesse and I
0:16:44.960,0:16:52.720
talking and then me listening him talking. This is
fine. Um, and then Tito was there and he was like,
0:16:52.720,0:16:56.240
I think I'm going to head home and he was like,
do you want to get on a call and just talk while I
0:16:56.240,0:17:01.040
head home? I was like, okay, cool. So it was also
a lot of Okay. So you were like just supervising
0:17:01.040,0:17:05.280
the whole night. Yeah, literally. Well, that's
sweet though. That's sweet though. Like you made
0:17:05.280,0:17:09.520
sure that I mean as much as you could cuz you
weren't like physically there but you you know
0:17:09.520,0:17:15.520
made sure he got into bed and was like Yeah.
Exactly. Yeah. And then so then what happened
0:17:15.520,0:17:23.360
after? I was like okay why you know why am I drunk
calling this person like and so like I kind of
0:17:23.360,0:17:30.320
like sat down and I was like you know it's like do
I like this person? And then so at this point like
0:17:30.320,0:17:36.880
we were zoom calling, discord calling for like
kasama related reasons. But then we started like
0:17:36.880,0:17:41.120
you know the the conversations became less and
less about kasama and then I think at some point
0:17:41.120,0:17:47.200
I remember um I said you know we should hang out
you know and then so I think uh I asked you out.
0:17:47.200,0:17:51.120
I remember doing it over text originally and
then I was like okay no I gota I got to call
0:17:51.120,0:17:57.040
her you know I got to do this like a sort of like
a FaceTime thing. Um, and so I we said to meet up,
0:17:57.040,0:18:01.280
let's hang out and somewhere in the city. Uh,
because that's that's the middle point between
0:18:01.280,0:18:06.320
where I was living at the time and American
Canyon, which was San Francisco. And so we had our
0:18:06.320,0:18:14.000
basically our first like date date. We went to the
uh Golden Gate Park. We went to uh And this was
0:18:14.000,0:18:18.480
the first time you had met in person in person.
Well, this was like consciously kind of like,
0:18:18.480,0:18:24.560
you know, intentionally. Yeah. Yeah. Um and so
we basically spent the entire day in SF. It was
0:18:24.560,0:18:29.520
uh it was an adventure. It It was an adventure.
A lot going on. Yeah. Uh I thought my car had
0:18:29.520,0:18:35.200
got stolen at that time. Um appar like we parked
somewhere in the park and then we remember walking
0:18:35.200,0:18:41.920
back to it. Uhhuh. I got because the car was not
there and I panicked and so we walked all the
0:18:41.920,0:18:46.960
way to the police station like started like you
know talking to them and then and then I called
0:18:46.960,0:18:50.640
my dad and you know like hey dad like I think the
car might be like not here and he's like oh wait
0:18:50.640,0:18:54.160
didn't you have your like he asked like didn't
you like have your laptop in it like does your
0:18:54.160,0:18:59.840
iPad like have a tracker? I was like oh you were
right. No we just didn't walk to the same spot.
0:18:59.840,0:19:06.240
So I I was like I'm pretty sure it's a little
further than where we stopped when you started
0:19:06.240,0:19:10.000
getting worried. I was like I think it was a
little further than this but I think because
0:19:10.000,0:19:14.160
you had gotten your car stolen before you were
very insistent that it had gotten stolen again.
0:19:14.160,0:19:20.240
Yeah. Yeah. So Oh Jesse I didn't when this is when
I was working like two jobs back to back. So like
0:19:20.240,0:19:26.800
I would work at the coffee shop and I was working
at another job where I was helping like a tenant
0:19:26.800,0:19:34.160
or supervise a building that was converted from a
veterans memorial hall into a co shelter. Um so I
0:19:34.160,0:19:41.360
would work coffee shop from 6:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.
and then go to work at 4:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. And
0:19:41.360,0:19:47.520
I remember driving back from the last like one
of these days just in my apartment parking lot. I
0:19:47.520,0:19:53.040
apparently like left the keys inside because I was
like just it it must have been fatigue. Yeah. And
0:19:53.040,0:20:00.720
I woke up the next day going trying to go to work.
Car's gone. So Oh god. Um it was uh Yeah, I'd say
0:20:00.720,0:20:06.240
I'd say like I think what had Yeah, the panic was
definitely like you know me not remembering right.
0:20:06.240,0:20:13.440
And so but it did lead to a funny story cuz you
know it was just like one block one block away
0:20:13.440,0:20:18.800
versus like where I where I thought I parked and
I just started panicking. So so a lot of relief
0:20:18.800,0:20:24.560
after we a lot of relief for sure and then we were
like oh well do we still want to go to cheesecake
0:20:24.560,0:20:33.840
factory it's like I mean we can drive now but
and we did we went cheesecake factory in SF still
0:20:33.840,0:20:47.680
yeah wait when was this this was in 2021 July 17th
2021 that's my birthday that's so Wait. Okay. So,
0:20:47.680,0:20:52.480
yeah, things were open by then. Started like
just starting to Yeah. Was it like outdoor
0:20:52.480,0:20:58.160
seating or No, actually indoor. Yeah. Wasn't as
populated as like Cheesecake Factory usually is.
0:20:58.160,0:21:04.000
For sure. They probably like had like I don't know
every other table or something. Yeah. Okay. So,
0:21:04.000,0:21:10.320
you went to Golden Gate Park, panicked that your
car was stolen, went to the police station, and
0:21:10.320,0:21:14.640
then went back and then you went to the Cheesecake
Factory. We did. And then what happened after?
0:21:16.240,0:21:21.680
I think we got Boba, I think. Yeah, we got Boba
afterwards and then I I think after that we just
0:21:21.680,0:21:26.640
I drove you back. Yeah. Drove drove drove back to
American Canyon. Then I went from American Canyon
0:21:26.640,0:21:32.080
all the way down to San Jose. Oh my god. Wait, you
were living in San Jose? That was when I was Del
0:21:32.080,0:21:37.840
Camre. Oh. Oh my god. I'm like all my timelines
are getting mixed up. No, I So when you were
0:21:37.840,0:21:44.160
living in Del Comre is when Kasama was happening
and stuff. Yep. And so, wait, Chelsea. So,
0:21:44.160,0:21:48.640
we knew that Jesse was like, you know, ever since
the drunken conversation, he was like, "Okay,
0:21:48.640,0:21:52.880
like, do I like this person? I'm going to ask
her out on a date." What was happening for you?
0:21:52.880,0:21:57.600
Did you When did you start developing feelings
for him? So, I thought he was really cute. Well,
0:21:57.600,0:22:01.760
here's the thing, right? like I was coordinating
for Sama and you know I was very grateful that
0:22:01.760,0:22:06.400
he was willing to help and he was still very
enthusiastic cuz at that time obviously like
0:22:06.400,0:22:10.080
you know with everything happening all the online
stuff happening a lot of people were getting like
0:22:10.080,0:22:15.040
fatigue from being online a lot um and a lot
of people just wanted to focus on like school
0:22:15.040,0:22:21.360
cuz it was so hard to school was already hard
alone. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And so like you know
0:22:21.360,0:22:26.080
it was okay like a lot of team members started
waning from attending those inerson practices
0:22:26.080,0:22:32.960
um cuz I would record these instructional videos
um for our dances and like the practices were
0:22:32.960,0:22:37.280
kind of like you know supplemental I guess like
obviously people call on their own time can learn
0:22:37.280,0:22:42.400
from those instructional videos but if they wanted
to get together and like you know do the dances
0:22:42.400,0:22:48.240
together online that was open to them too. Um, but
I would also hold office hours cuz I know that was
0:22:48.240,0:22:52.640
kind of a regular thing for Kasama coordinators as
well when people needed help and it was a separate
0:22:52.640,0:22:56.880
time from like those evening practices. So if
people were busy they could pop in like onto
0:22:56.880,0:23:01.600
office hours. That's what he started doing too.
That's kind of how we kind of got into calling.
0:23:01.600,0:23:07.200
Is that the Fridays? I think it was the Fridays,
right? Yeah. I think I I don't remember. Yeah. But
0:23:07.200,0:23:10.720
it was probably on that Friday. That was probably
the call we were on. It was like a regular time
0:23:10.720,0:23:14.800
that you guys Yeah. got together, right? Yeah.
Yeah. because it would be like the office hours
0:23:14.800,0:23:19.200
and then like later on in the night we would do
like study calls. They were truly study calls and
0:23:19.200,0:23:23.600
then afterwards they started being more like you
know fun like let loose calls and um I was like
0:23:23.600,0:23:29.440
oh you know he seems really cool you know I think
one of the non Kasama related texts he sent was
0:23:29.440,0:23:35.040
about music um and like our Spotify cuz I create a
playlist for Kasama like anybody could contribute
0:23:35.040,0:23:40.480
to um and so I thought oh you know that's cool
that you know we could talk about not just Kasama
0:23:40.480,0:23:46.160
cuz Kasama was like my life at that point. Oh, I
bet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, literally like I everything
0:23:46.160,0:23:50.640
like even within my home recording those videos,
a lot of people got to know my living room really
0:23:50.640,0:23:54.640
well. Yeah. I was going to ask I'm like where did
you even record your videos? I was very lucky.
0:23:54.640,0:23:59.840
Like at home we have a big living room. So against
the white wall like it's a lot of space for me to
0:23:59.840,0:24:07.440
just dance it out. Having the ability to just talk
about not kasama, not school was really cool and
0:24:07.440,0:24:13.520
um probably very much needed at that time. Yeah.
Oh, absolutely. So, it was really nice to kind of
0:24:13.520,0:24:19.280
get to know a new friend. I thought it was really
cool that like we had met in passing previously.
0:24:19.280,0:24:24.480
It was like that. I I just thought of this. It
was that and then he told me I while I was still
0:24:24.480,0:24:30.560
working at um the Poke restaurant I was working at
in Santa Cruz. He came to visit um at some point
0:24:30.560,0:24:35.040
or you were with someone like one of our other
friends and he came to visit. I don't remember
0:24:35.040,0:24:40.000
this at all. I don't remember this at all, man.
I totally forgot about that. There was so there
0:24:40.000,0:24:45.360
was the moment we met in passing and because
I met her in passing I I vis I frequented this
0:24:45.360,0:24:50.160
pokey restaurant like quite a bit. She was working
there at the time and I just remember like seeing
0:24:50.160,0:24:54.080
her and at that point like it was still kind of
like a passing thing. I was like I was but I did
0:24:54.080,0:24:58.480
recognize I was like oh hey and then I think you
were just locked in at work. I think you were just
0:24:58.480,0:25:05.920
like oh hey I don't think she remembered me in
the slightest. Well I don't remember it but this
0:25:05.920,0:25:10.720
was before Kasama. This is this was before. Yeah,
this is before. I think literally right before you
0:25:10.720,0:25:17.760
know the um lockdown started happening. Oh yeah. I
was like how are you working? Oh yeah. I I I think
0:25:17.760,0:25:24.640
a lot of the co just kind of like compressed like
all memories of that like a lot of it. I remember
0:25:24.640,0:25:29.280
it in like fragments. I don't remember it like as
like one point like point A to point B. It's point
0:25:29.280,0:25:36.160
A to two. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. You know. Yeah.
But I I thought it was really cute. you know,
0:25:36.160,0:25:42.800
we were talking um and you know, it was fun
to kind of like learn all these new things,
0:25:42.800,0:25:49.680
learn somebody, learn about somebody new, right?
Um and I think we were just really there were a
0:25:49.680,0:25:54.400
lot of things like especially music. We were
very music or focused in our conversations. Oh,
0:25:54.400,0:25:59.200
I love that. I love talking about music.
I love music. And he our music tastes are
0:25:59.200,0:26:04.880
very different. Very I was going to say I'm like,
well, how would you describe your music taste? Um,
0:26:04.880,0:26:10.400
I like a lot of like how would I describe it? I
honestly it's a it's a hard question. Yeah. Like
0:26:10.400,0:26:15.200
I can't I can hardly even say like what genres I
like cuz whenever I listen to music it's hard for
0:26:15.200,0:26:19.680
me to categorize. It's just you know I like what
I like. And I'm sure a lot of people can relate to
0:26:19.680,0:26:24.640
that too, right? Like you know you hear something,
you like it, you like it. Um my music taste is a
0:26:24.640,0:26:30.560
lot slower. I like a lot of like folk. Um I do
like a lot of funk. Like especially if it's like
0:26:30.560,0:26:34.880
dancable. I don't know. I don't know how to
describe it. Yeah. Well, how like what are a
0:26:34.880,0:26:39.680
couple artists that you're listening to right now?
Right now I'm hopping like especially with the
0:26:39.680,0:26:45.440
artists I used to like like I like Theo Catsman
a lot. He is my favorite artist I think because
0:26:45.440,0:26:50.160
previously before I knew Theo Catsman I knew him
as a vocalist in the band called Wolfpack. They
0:26:50.160,0:26:56.800
do a lot of like pop funk pop. They're really fun.
They're really silly. Yeah. But um he does a lot
0:26:56.800,0:27:03.360
of like folk rock. Um and you know like it's fun.
It's cool. It's either really slow or it's really
0:27:03.360,0:27:09.120
like upbeat, you know? I know Jesse, you listen
to a lot of at that time. I just started getting
0:27:09.120,0:27:14.800
into EDM around the time I met her, but a lot of
like I think the music takes that I think that
0:27:14.800,0:27:21.200
like I was kind of tact like tactically thinking
about what music I chose to share because I feel
0:27:21.200,0:27:27.680
like I come from like it's like a diaspora of
like music interests. Like I'll be like a I'll
0:27:27.680,0:27:37.520
be a settler for classic rock and then jump into
2000's rap. Yeah. 2000s R&B. Even like, you know,
0:27:37.520,0:27:41.680
towards the end of high school, I was listen like
a lot of like I don't I don't say it's indie,
0:27:41.680,0:27:48.240
but I think of indie when I like when I was
hearing hoser a lot back then. Um so I think like
0:27:48.240,0:27:55.360
what Chelsea said was correct. I think like I'm
a very more high upbeat I guess intense. Mhm. Um,
0:27:55.360,0:27:58.960
and she's definitely on the slower side and I
could kind of see that. So, the music I would
0:27:58.960,0:28:03.520
sometimes recommend would be like a lot of like
the R&B choices, right? Like you would share you
0:28:03.520,0:28:10.400
would share like what maybe she would enjoy. What
that would be the most shared aspects where we can
0:28:10.400,0:28:19.200
relate to probably the most. When did we So, we we
made a date uh seeing um this artist named Magic
0:28:19.200,0:28:23.040
Jordan. Oh, that was after we started dating.
Yeah, that was after we started dating. Um,
0:28:23.040,0:28:28.800
but that was one of the very few so first songs
I think we started to like like bond over was
0:28:28.800,0:28:34.320
um a song called Waves of Waves of Blue. Uh, that
was just like sonic. It felt sonically the most
0:28:34.320,0:28:40.960
like if there was a ven diagram like the you know.
Okay. I remember him sharing the link and I was
0:28:40.960,0:28:45.120
like, do you know what you just shared with me? I
think you need to like listen to it again and like
0:28:45.120,0:28:50.320
really appreciate it more. I really I don't know.
I there was something about the song. It was so
0:28:50.320,0:28:56.640
like like so you had heard it for the first time.
Yeah, I did when he shared it. Um like and he just
0:28:56.640,0:29:00.480
it was like one of those songs you just share,
you know, just share it. Yeah. Like casually
0:29:00.480,0:29:04.240
take a listen to it. Um cuz he didn't there was
no text attached to it. It was just the link that
0:29:04.240,0:29:09.120
he sent the song and I was like this is really
good. Listen to it again. Yeah. Like appreciate
0:29:09.120,0:29:15.920
it more. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. I have to listen to
the song. It's good. It's like I'm really excited.
0:29:15.920,0:29:20.400
We say it's our song. So, shout out. Shout out
Magic Jordan. You know, so that was after you guys
0:29:20.400,0:29:26.160
started dating though. Yeah, this Okay, so the
date in SF was just a date. Yeah. Mhm. You didn't
0:29:26.160,0:29:32.560
like walk away from that. There's a I was about
to get into this. Um I think I I sidetracked,
0:29:32.560,0:29:39.120
but I know we did. Yeah, it's okay. I think there
were a lot of things he left out on that when we
0:29:39.120,0:29:43.680
went to Golden Gate Park because we were doing
uh we were also painting. We brought like paint
0:29:43.680,0:29:50.000
supplies to paint in the park. Um, I love that.
But it was also where we shared our first kiss.
0:29:50.000,0:29:57.040
Oh, okay. Okay. So, it was a good date then.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wait. Okay. Sorry. I keep I So,
0:29:57.040,0:30:02.960
you guys are getting sidetracked because of me.
So, the Golden Gate Park part where you kissed
0:30:02.960,0:30:07.440
for the first time and painted and stuff. That
was before you thought you got your car stolen,
0:30:07.440,0:30:11.840
right? Cuz you were leaving, right, when you
realized the Yeah. We couldn't find the car. I
0:30:11.840,0:30:16.560
exited the park. We were on the sidewalk and we
were walking because we parked pretty far from
0:30:16.560,0:30:21.920
where we exited. Like we parked on the street
that separates the park from the neighborhood.
0:30:21.920,0:30:28.240
So like Yeah. Like like I didn't have like a house
for reference. I just saw trees. Okay. Okay. For
0:30:28.240,0:30:35.360
sure. But that So that was a really lovely time
that you guys had. It was just for it just for
0:30:35.360,0:30:40.960
it to end with my panic. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.
That's that's what I wanted to contextualize
0:30:40.960,0:30:45.120
is that you guys had like a really lovely time it
sounds like at Golden Gate Park. And it was like,
0:30:45.120,0:30:49.680
you know, July 17th is, you know, a really great
day. Um, but it's also like in the middle of the
0:30:49.680,0:30:53.200
summer, so like the weather must have been
really beautiful. Oh, it was. Yeah. Know,
0:30:53.200,0:30:56.880
because it was in San Francisco, too. Like
it was a cool breeze. Still a little warm,
0:30:56.880,0:31:02.400
but like not too warm. Like I I can't remember for
the life of me what time during the day it was,
0:31:02.400,0:31:07.200
but four or five. Like it was like right before
sunset. Oh, yeah. Then it was starting to get
0:31:07.200,0:31:10.800
cooler. So, like, you know, obviously I had
an extra sweater and the weather was great,
0:31:10.800,0:31:15.520
you know, the entire time we were at the park.
So, yeah. Okay. Well, that's really sweet. So,
0:31:15.520,0:31:21.840
that is that your anniversary? No. Okay. Um cuz
we went on two other dates after that. Okay. Yeah.
0:31:21.840,0:31:27.200
I think this first date was in San Francisco. The
second date was closer to where he was. It was in
0:31:27.200,0:31:33.520
San Jose. And then the third date um was in Vak,
but we went on a hike. Oh, nice. And then I don't
0:31:33.520,0:31:39.280
know what else we did to that day. No, we went we
went to Lagoon Valley. uh some park in in between
0:31:39.280,0:31:44.640
Sacramento and San Francisco. Um which is near
nearby where I live. Basically like where I spent
0:31:44.640,0:31:50.640
all my summers just running cuz that's where we
did all our training for cross country. Um and it
0:31:50.640,0:31:56.160
was just a nice place to to hike. Um Oh yeah. No,
that's when we got together that day. The third
0:31:56.160,0:32:02.000
day. The third day. Okay. What was that? Was that
a conversation or were you guys just like, you
0:32:02.000,0:32:07.680
know, we've been on three dates now. Like that's I
well we previously had a conversation where I was
0:32:07.680,0:32:13.040
we were talking about like our past relationships
at some point or like and like I don't know like
0:32:13.040,0:32:20.320
some sort of like past romantic relationship
conversation and previously I had like
0:32:20.320,0:32:26.240
um communicated that like I don't really like to
be super intimate with people if I don't know that
0:32:26.240,0:32:31.680
you know we can commit to something. Right. Right.
Yeah. So, I think, you know, it was one of those
0:32:31.680,0:32:37.200
dates where we started to really get kind of close
and, you know, like have these like more deeper
0:32:37.200,0:32:42.000
conversations. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I think we kind
of both got the hint like, oh, like, you know,
0:32:42.000,0:32:47.600
because of that conversation that we had, you
know, what we've communicated um, you know, maybe
0:32:47.600,0:32:53.120
it's something that we do want to get into. Yeah.
Okay. And that was on the hike that you had. Uh,
0:32:53.120,0:32:58.960
it was after the hike. It was like later on in the
evening cuz it's really funny cuz after our dates,
0:32:58.960,0:33:02.800
those three dates that we had, we always had
like a recap call at the end of the like a
0:33:02.800,0:33:10.000
debriefing like that's so cute. Yeah. So like
during that evening like during the actual date
0:33:10.000,0:33:15.040
um that's when things started to get a little
more like deep in conversation and later on in
0:33:15.040,0:33:20.080
the night is when we clarified oh yeah like this
is we're doing this for sure. Okay. Okay. So that
0:33:20.080,0:33:26.160
there's no uncertainty. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Okay.
So, what day was that? That was September 1st,
0:33:26.160,0:33:32.800
2021. September 1st. Okay. Wow. Sorry, I'm
just remembering like Belle and Leslie,
0:33:32.800,0:33:37.680
their anniversary is September 13th and me and
Brad's like dating anniversary is October 2nd. So,
0:33:37.680,0:33:41.760
like it's funny cuz like I think at least I don't
know if this is how it felt like for you guys,
0:33:41.760,0:33:47.440
but like summer of 2021 was like it had so much
energy in it because like it was things were
0:33:47.440,0:33:52.400
opening up again. you know, we were able to like
be in person again for the first time and like it
0:33:52.400,0:33:59.520
felt um like happy and hopeful for the first time
in a while. So, it's just sweet that like I'm I'm
0:33:59.520,0:34:05.040
remembering a lot of people like just their, you
know, anniversaries or whatever just kind of like
0:34:05.040,0:34:11.280
the fallish of 2021 after Yeah. It's like when you
open a soda bottle and it's like the it's like a
0:34:11.280,0:34:16.000
first open. It's like all that pressure just That
is such a good analogy. That's exactly what it
0:34:16.000,0:34:23.600
was. I like Yeah, it was a really fun summer. Um,
but when you first started like actively hanging
0:34:23.600,0:34:30.080
out online, when was that? That was around like I
want to say midappril. Somewhere around the end of
0:34:30.080,0:34:37.200
March to mid April cuz the end of March was still
like texting. We would text often, but um I think
0:34:37.200,0:34:43.680
we were on Snapchat at the time where we like
initiated more of like the study calls and then
0:34:43.680,0:34:49.680
those calls it would go from like studying to just
talking until like 4:00 a.m. 5:00 a.m. 6:00 a.m.
0:34:49.680,0:34:56.560
Oh wow, what that is so late. Like I loved going
to the library when I was going to homework and
0:34:56.560,0:35:02.080
a lot of a lot of the fun times I had in college
before COVID was just hanging out like either like
0:35:02.080,0:35:07.520
working in the cafeteria, working in the library,
working in a coffee shop with the people, not even
0:35:07.520,0:35:11.920
just like talking with them, just being around
them. And so I wanted to emulate like at least for
0:35:11.920,0:35:16.320
me like when I look for stuff to do, I needed like
someone like, "Hey, I need to do some homework.
0:35:16.320,0:35:21.120
Let's just hop on a call." You know, we work until
11:00, then it's like, "Oh, what we do after? hang
0:35:21.120,0:35:27.280
out and then that's that most we could do. And so
we like I you know it's crazy now I think about
0:35:27.280,0:35:34.080
it like we kind of still have that virtual thing
because as of this time we're not like we're like
0:35:34.080,0:35:39.840
we live an hour apart from each other and so a lot
of the weekdays it's still kind of we still have
0:35:39.840,0:35:45.280
that hangout like reminiscing like obviously they
like we don't go to 4 a.m. more. But, you know,
0:35:45.280,0:35:50.560
it's like, you know, a lot of 21y old like a lot
of the weekdays, a lot of lot of weekdays it's
0:35:50.560,0:35:56.640
like, "Hey, um, you know, we we'll play online
games together. We'll do Balders, like we play
0:35:56.640,0:36:01.280
this game called Balders's Gate 3." Um, we used
to do a lot of Runescape. We used to do a lot of
0:36:01.280,0:36:06.800
Runescape. Um, we would switch we'll switch games.
We'll switch games for sure. Um, watch a movie. If
0:36:06.800,0:36:13.120
we're doing a show, we'll just do a show. So, it's
like a lot of that's still there. And then um like
0:36:13.120,0:36:18.320
that's I that you know I think it's truly like a
sign of the the times we live in you know. Well I
0:36:18.320,0:36:23.040
mean that was like you know how your relationship
started. It's foundational you know. Yeah. And
0:36:23.040,0:36:28.000
then like you guys don't live together still so
like Mhm. I mean you guys can text and you know
0:36:28.000,0:36:33.040
FaceTime maybe here and there but like you guys
are making it work considering the fact that
0:36:33.040,0:36:37.280
you don't live together. Like it sounds like even
though you don't live together you spend a lot of
0:36:37.280,0:36:43.120
time together. We definitely Yeah, cuz obviously
like we You like to go out a lot. You like to go
0:36:43.120,0:36:48.880
out. I do. I do like to go out a lot, you know,
and it's like it's having that digital aspect
0:36:48.880,0:36:54.560
is really nice. Um because, you know, like we'll
recap, you know, like if he goes out and he has
0:36:54.560,0:36:58.720
the energy, we'll get on a call, but even then,
like the following day, if we do get on a call and
0:36:58.720,0:37:03.440
it's like dedicated call time for us, then we'll
just talk, you know, we'll talk about what we've
0:37:03.440,0:37:07.520
done um and what we're going to do and everything.
And sometime sometimes sometimes there are nights
0:37:07.520,0:37:13.120
where you know um we don't really talk like we'll
just kind of like get on a call like saying like
0:37:13.120,0:37:19.120
hey you do your thing I'll do my thing. Exactly.
Yeah. And so like but that sounds like so normal
0:37:19.120,0:37:23.920
to your relationship. It's like not something that
you I don't know have to like schedule. It's just
0:37:23.920,0:37:29.920
like Yeah. Sometimes we'll like say like hey like
sometimes it'll be like oh we got to watch this
0:37:29.920,0:37:35.040
sometime this week like you know it's like whether
that be today or maybe Wednesday or Thursday.
0:37:35.040,0:37:38.800
um we'll figure out how to be like we got to do
this week or then sometimes it's like hey do you
0:37:38.800,0:37:42.800
want to hang out tonight and it's like yeah
sure yeah you know there could be it's very
0:37:42.800,0:37:49.360
ad hoc are you if it's okay to ask are you guys
ever going to plan to move in together you know
0:37:49.360,0:37:55.840
to be honest we haven't really like talked about
it too much actually we I know it's we've had some
0:37:55.840,0:38:02.240
brief conversations about it cuz oftent times we
talk about like you know what how we see ourselves
0:38:02.240,0:38:08.880
and like in our living situation right? Like what
you want and what I want and um we kind of have
0:38:08.880,0:38:14.800
like a general idea of like what we want in the
near future for ourselves, but we haven't really
0:38:14.800,0:38:22.560
discussed like living together yet. Mhm. Mhm. Cuz
I live in SF and that's a very pricey place to be.
0:38:22.560,0:38:28.400
Um it's convenient for me because it's about like
if there's one thing that's like fundamental to
0:38:28.400,0:38:37.840
my identity is I hate commuting. I hate driving so
much. So, I will pay that premium to not cross the
0:38:37.840,0:38:43.360
bridge every morning at 6:00 in the morning to
beat the traffic cuz I hate I think like Wait,
0:38:43.360,0:38:47.920
do you work in person? Uh, I go Yeah. So, yeah,
I go I go to office. I don't know why I thought
0:38:47.920,0:38:52.880
that you were. Well, for the longest time I was
fully remote. Okay. Okay. But now you're in person
0:38:52.880,0:38:57.280
like most of the time. Four out of five days.
Three Three to five. Three to five days. Okay,
0:38:57.280,0:39:02.720
that makes sense. And it's an SF. It's an SF.
Yes. Okay. Okay. Mhm. So I will do everything
0:39:02.720,0:39:08.880
in my power to not drive even though like you know
it's sometimes it could be a little like it feels
0:39:08.880,0:39:15.200
extreme but I despise it. It is not I I don't
know how people do it. Do you commute a lot? No,
0:39:15.200,0:39:22.080
I actually don't drive. Oh right. Okay. No, I'm
I'm working on it. But, you know, it's like it's
0:39:22.080,0:39:27.360
like the scariest thing like really like as
much as I want to get comfortable on the road,
0:39:27.360,0:39:31.440
I understand that it's like it really
is like such a dangerous thing. You are
0:39:31.440,0:39:38.480
literally operating like this huge heavy machine.
There's so many things that can go wrong. I Yeah,
0:39:38.480,0:39:42.720
I I've had a few clients that we've had to work
through like driving anxiety because it's it's
0:39:42.720,0:39:48.880
real. And like I don't think what I was gonna say
earlier is I don't think like we were meant to be
0:39:48.880,0:39:55.280
sitting in a car for two hours, three hours a day.
Like Brad has a lot of um co-workers that live
0:39:55.280,0:40:01.360
in like Tracy or like Morgan Hill. Even Morgan
Hill is like not that far, but it's far for like
0:40:01.360,0:40:08.320
Fremont. Like I think a lot of like for me it's
like I have like the the feeling of not liking to
0:40:08.320,0:40:15.840
be sitting down for a long time. But um me growing
up, my dad would um actually commute from Berling
0:40:15.840,0:40:23.760
game to Vakavville, which would end up being about
2 and 1/2 hour drive if y'all one way. No. Yeah.
0:40:23.760,0:40:28.880
Yeah. So during traffic. So like so like he would
leave in the morning and then because he was a car
0:40:28.880,0:40:35.280
salesman at the time and so a lot of their basics
are for car salesman is based off commission. So,
0:40:35.280,0:40:41.280
so like he would have to utilize all the time he
could spend there to to maximize the amount of
0:40:41.280,0:40:47.680
uh take home he could get and you know a lot of
the times he'd be coming back at 11 10 at night
0:40:47.680,0:40:56.880
11 at night. Um and I just know it had to be two
so two there two back four of those 11 hour work
0:40:56.880,0:41:03.040
days you know were dedicated to just being on the
road. That's why. And it's like, no, I do not want
0:41:03.040,0:41:09.120
any part of like I do not want any of that. Yeah.
So you if you stay at your job for the foreseeable
0:41:09.120,0:41:14.400
future, like you're going to be staying in SF.
I think Yeah. As of right now, like the which is
0:41:14.400,0:41:19.200
it's hard. It's expensive. It's very expensive.
And so like there's a lot of like um my mindset
0:41:19.200,0:41:25.440
is very get it right. Yeah. You know, I don't we
I don't need to be the first one to do something.
0:41:25.440,0:41:33.360
Um, I just wanted to make sure that, you know, for
the both of us, does it make sense for your long
0:41:33.360,0:41:37.600
like long-term future? Does it make sense for my
long term term future? Does it make sense for our,
0:41:37.600,0:41:42.000
you know, you know, like like I'm okay with
I'm I'm okay with taking the time and not
0:41:42.000,0:41:48.160
rushing it. I love that though, honestly,
because I think that it is kind of a a step,
0:41:48.160,0:41:52.400
like a natural step that like, you know, if you
think about like the timeline of a relationship,
0:41:52.400,0:41:56.960
it's like, okay, well, what's next? let's move in
together. It's more than just a step. It's like
0:41:56.960,0:42:01.760
you either stay moving in together or you don't,
right? It's it's a lifestyle change. It is. I
0:42:01.760,0:42:07.680
think a lot of like um stuff that we know like of
relationships we see around us. I think a lot of
0:42:07.680,0:42:11.760
a lot of it really comes from like for me at least
like just comes from your parents like especially
0:42:11.760,0:42:17.200
my parents they you know they moved in like after
they got married. Yeah. And it's like and I think
0:42:17.200,0:42:22.160
there's a lot of changes like especially like
now they want to move in first before but that's
0:42:22.160,0:42:25.760
not what the way I was taught. I feel like I'm
constantly being like told different versions
0:42:25.760,0:42:31.360
of how different relationships can work. And so
it's like that's for me I try not to frame around
0:42:31.360,0:42:36.320
anything. Just learn from what I can like learn
from what I've seen, learn from what I, you know,
0:42:36.320,0:42:42.560
try to read, learn from whatever and just take
what you want from everything that you've seen,
0:42:42.560,0:42:48.320
but then like still develop your own, you
know, whatever works for you. It's nice to have
0:42:48.320,0:42:54.320
examples, but it's not like the be all end all for
you. Yeah. Yeah. Is it the same for you, Chelsea?
0:42:54.320,0:42:58.080
Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're right. Like there is
no guide book, right? It's always case by case.
0:42:58.080,0:43:05.280
It really depends on like each person and like
in this case like how they are as a couple. Um,
0:43:05.280,0:43:12.160
I feel the same way like I I think for me at some
point before any sort of thoughts of marriage,
0:43:12.160,0:43:17.120
it would be nice to kind of just see like how it
is to live with each other cuz again like what you
0:43:17.120,0:43:22.880
were saying when you move in together it's either
you stay together or you don't live together,
0:43:22.880,0:43:27.840
right? And you know it does work for some couples
where they do live separately. Um, but you know
0:43:27.840,0:43:32.880
that is something that I do want where I I would
like to live you know as a couple together, right?
0:43:32.880,0:43:39.600
But it sounds like you guys are in no particular
rush for that. No. Yeah. I think um I I still
0:43:39.600,0:43:45.440
think also I'm still relatively young, you know?
I do not like I Yeah. I don't know. Still figuring
0:43:45.440,0:43:49.920
it out. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. I mean, you're
even you, Chelsea, like you're even younger.
0:43:49.920,0:43:54.960
Like I mean I like Brad and I are married and I
still feel like we're too young for that. Like
0:43:54.960,0:44:01.760
it's weird cuz like everyone here in the Bay Area
like they're not married, right? I don't I mean I
0:44:01.760,0:44:05.600
have friends that are getting married but like it
feels like a majority at least of like our friends
0:44:05.600,0:44:10.080
are not really married but then you know we go
to Hawaii and like all of his friends are married
0:44:10.080,0:44:13.920
and have kids and stuff like that. It's just so
different. Like I don't feel like adult enough
0:44:13.920,0:44:17.840
to be married. Is there like I mean is there a
thing that's too young or too old? There is such
0:44:17.840,0:44:25.680
a wide range of how to do it and there's like not
one of them is right or wrong. Well there's some
0:44:25.680,0:44:34.400
wrong ones but there may be some unhealthy ones.
There's some out there. We're all susceptible. No,
0:44:34.400,0:44:38.720
but I appreciate what you guys are saying. I
think really my whole point with this podcast
0:44:38.720,0:44:44.000
is to normalize everything, you know? And I
appreciate what you guys are saying at least
0:44:44.000,0:44:48.000
about like I want to do it right. Like I don't
want to just move in together just to move in
0:44:48.000,0:44:52.560
together because it's like the next step. Like I
want to feel ready for it. I want our relationship
0:44:52.560,0:44:58.560
to feel ready for it because there's nothing worse
than like moving in before you're ready and then
0:44:58.560,0:45:03.200
realizing that you're not ready like while you're
living together and like having to like on top of
0:45:03.200,0:45:08.320
having to deal with like just adjusting to live
together but like also expediting your guys'
0:45:08.320,0:45:13.120
relationship to be ready for it because you're
already doing it, you know? How did we get here?
0:45:13.120,0:45:20.640
I I was about to say I was How did we get here?
Um we were all going well Well, okay. So, you guys
0:45:20.640,0:45:26.720
officially started dating in September of 2021.
So, how long has it been now? Four years. Four
0:45:26.720,0:45:32.320
years. One month now. Four years and 1 month. Um,
now that you guys have been dating for 4 years,
0:45:32.320,0:45:37.280
what does a typical week look like for you guys
since you're both still living separately? Um,
0:45:37.280,0:45:42.560
but like you've I'm sure developed your own like
groove and routine in your relationship. So,
0:45:42.560,0:45:49.920
like could you walk me through what you know a
week looks like and how you guys dedicate time to
0:45:49.920,0:45:56.160
each other and your relationship? Sure. Yeah. For
from Chelsea's point of view for now, um you know,
0:45:56.160,0:46:00.720
the work week happens. I typically work overtime
every day um because of that. I'm not sure if
0:46:00.720,0:46:05.840
we mentioned this on the podcast about like the
tests that I do for my lab, but um I was granted
0:46:05.840,0:46:10.160
overtime to specifically do those tests. So, I'm
working like 10our days, 5 days a week. Oh my
0:46:10.160,0:46:17.040
gosh, Chelsea. Um, and you know, every maybe like
couple days or so, typ typically not every day,
0:46:17.040,0:46:22.720
but um, maybe every couple few days we'll like get
on a call and we'll just hang out. We'll watch a
0:46:22.720,0:46:28.240
movie or play a game or just parallel play. Yeah,
I love that. Um, and then, you know, we're always
0:46:28.240,0:46:32.320
finding something to do on the weekends as
well, like kind of an excuse. I don't want to
0:46:32.320,0:46:36.480
say an excuse cuz we're like actively making the
decision to like spend time with each other during
0:46:36.480,0:46:41.680
the weekend cuz that's, you know, when I have
time to like come down. Yeah. Um but you know,
0:46:41.680,0:46:49.520
we're always like we'll go on a hike or like we'll
go hang out in the city, go to You guys hike a
0:46:49.520,0:46:53.680
lot. Actually, I did a hike yesterday last week by
myself. I think Jennice was actually supposed to
0:46:53.680,0:46:58.000
come to that one. I think he invited you as well.
Yeah. And I was like, his back started hurting.
0:46:58.000,0:47:03.840
His back started hurting and I heard sunrise and
I'm like, see, that's my favorite time. I I I
0:47:03.840,0:47:10.480
love to go at very inconvenient times. No, I mean
it's like a great time. the trails are empty and
0:47:10.480,0:47:15.760
empty. When you're done, it's like 10:00 a.m. You
have the whole day. Whole day to yourself. I love
0:47:15.760,0:47:20.960
that. Um during the weekdays, we like to, you
know, do the online hangouts and then weekends
0:47:20.960,0:47:26.720
are typically like she I will say she comes
down a lot to SF more than I go to American
0:47:26.720,0:47:33.360
Canyon. Um so I do appreciate you coming down.
The ferry. The ferry. Just like romanticize the
0:47:33.360,0:47:38.160
public public transportation. That's where it's
all at. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. But yeah, I mean
0:47:38.160,0:47:43.840
yesterday like we we basically did a tourist date.
We rode the cable car. We did a little bike ride
0:47:43.840,0:47:50.480
on the warf. Um went to Gerard Deli Square. Gerard
Deli Square mini golf. I'm not sure if it was like
0:47:50.480,0:47:55.360
subconscious, but it was a very like picturesque
date night like date day yesterday. I know. I was
0:47:55.360,0:48:00.000
going to say I'm like this is like a movie.
Yeah, I know. And but but then they're like,
0:48:00.000,0:48:02.880
you know, like she'll come down to the weekend
and sometimes the weekend will just be like you
0:48:02.880,0:48:07.040
want to go to a coffee shop in the morning and
just read. You read? You want to read? and I'll
0:48:07.040,0:48:13.440
just do my like thing. I'll either like either
journal or read or just play chess on my phone
0:48:13.440,0:48:19.200
or something. Oh my god. And then like and then
we just basically like go back to my apartment,
0:48:19.200,0:48:25.360
play a board game, maybe watch another movie like
in person this time. Um um I forgot who mentioned
0:48:25.360,0:48:33.040
this, but one of my guests mentioned like medium
distance, not like long distance, so it kind of
0:48:33.040,0:48:37.600
feels like that. I it's not too far, but like
you don't get to see each other on during the
0:48:37.600,0:48:44.480
weeks and stuff like that. Um, so I imagine that
it makes the time that you guys do spend in person
0:48:44.480,0:48:49.760
together like that much more nice and special.
Yeah. Honestly, I feel like I I've thought about
0:48:49.760,0:48:54.480
this too. Like I've heard medium distance being
used to describe like not not even just like the
0:48:54.480,0:49:07.520
actual distance between like maybe like each
couple, right? I think we're only like 45
0:49:07.520,0:49:13.440
is also part of that kind of medium distance
as well. Um, you know, I think having that time
0:49:13.440,0:49:19.920
to like, you know, do our own thing during the
week and then also get together and do like us,
0:49:19.920,0:49:23.840
you know, it's really fun and it's it's even
during the week when we are doing our own time,
0:49:23.840,0:49:28.800
at least we know like they're still us, right?
You know, it helps a lot. It's it's really nice.
0:49:28.800,0:49:32.560
I love that. I'm curious if you guys are
comfortable talking about it. I'd love to
0:49:32.560,0:49:38.400
hear about like any challenges you've experienced
in your relationship and how you navigate conflict
0:49:38.400,0:49:44.720
or challenges in general. Mhm. Chelsea and I we
don't really have a lot of fights. I think one
0:49:44.720,0:49:51.600
challenge I think that sometimes like I think
Chelsea and I are very non-confrontational. So
0:49:51.600,0:49:58.880
I think that kind of sometimes can bite us in
the butt. Um cuz I think um I try and this is
0:49:58.880,0:50:06.080
why I'm trying to be vague. I think a lot of the
challenges I think we both we both have in common
0:50:06.080,0:50:13.920
is the kind of challenges we saw in our households
growing up where it was very confrontational to
0:50:13.920,0:50:18.560
say the least and I think we kind of like
maybe internalized that to where it's like
0:50:18.560,0:50:23.440
we try to like basically do the basically do the
opposite. Yeah. And so I think you know like you
0:50:23.440,0:50:29.360
want this relationship to be the one space that
feels like you don't have to be so in-your-face
0:50:29.360,0:50:34.400
confrontation. Yeah. I think we're really even
now like we're still trying to navigate a way
0:50:34.400,0:50:40.480
to like normalize that kind of communication where
there is an issue and like we don't have any fear
0:50:40.480,0:50:45.520
to kind of just bring it up and like we're okay
with like having any sort of like uh conflict in
0:50:45.520,0:50:49.360
that kind of situation. So that's definitely
something we're still working on. It's yeah,
0:50:49.360,0:50:53.840
it's something you're working on and you know,
[ __ ] may not ever get it perfect, but you know,
0:50:53.840,0:50:59.200
you know, just keep at it. You know, know that you
got to trust. I think the one thing that I think
0:50:59.200,0:51:05.200
we both have is we have trust that no matter
what if we when when we bring it something up,
0:51:05.200,0:51:11.360
if we do, you know, it's always we're always
looking out for us, right? It's not because I
0:51:11.360,0:51:16.480
I'm very I think for me it's like love from a
love style. I'm a very hands-off where in the
0:51:16.480,0:51:22.080
sense that it's like I'm not trying to control
any aspect of your life. You know, I want every
0:51:22.080,0:51:27.920
bit of every decision you do for you like made by
you and you know, I'll support and then you know,
0:51:27.920,0:51:32.160
kind of like expect the support back kind of like
thing. It's like I'm a very handsoff. you know,
0:51:32.160,0:51:37.280
you do what you want to do, do what you need to
do, and I'm gonna be supportive. And so that's
0:51:37.280,0:51:43.840
any form of like, you know, criticism, any form
of like advice, it's always that like, you know,
0:51:43.840,0:51:49.840
use at your discretion and it'll, you know, it's
always it's looking out for best of us. Yeah.
0:51:49.840,0:51:53.760
Yeah. And like having that trust that like, you
know, you are making the decisions that you want
0:51:53.760,0:52:00.000
to make. Um, and I think you've also explicitly
expressed this where like, you know, if there is
0:52:00.000,0:52:05.680
something that does like concern us when we tell
each other we want to do something like to don't
0:52:05.680,0:52:12.000
not be afraid of like having that push back of
like saying, "Oh, I'm a little worried, you know,
0:52:12.000,0:52:16.960
about, you know, you making this decision and
like being there to like say something cuz I mean,
0:52:16.960,0:52:21.200
we're here, you know, not just to listen, but
to also to like, right, right, to support,
0:52:21.200,0:52:26.880
but also like, you know, not blindly, you know,
like you guys I'm sure like respect each other's
0:52:26.880,0:52:31.520
opinions which is why sometimes there's a time
and place for everything right but like sometimes
0:52:31.520,0:52:36.800
you need an opinion you need maybe you need that I
think just what you said about trust like trusting
0:52:36.800,0:52:42.640
that like whatever is said is like you know coming
from a place of love and also like coming from a
0:52:42.640,0:52:47.520
place of wanting to look out and what's best
for the other person right a really common I
0:52:47.520,0:52:52.480
think relationship dynamic is like there's the
person that is like non-confrontational kind of
0:52:52.480,0:52:56.080
you know people have said like they shut down or
like it's hard for them to talk about feelings
0:52:56.080,0:52:59.920
and stuff like that. And then there's like
the other person that's like let's get this,
0:52:59.920,0:53:04.960
you know, figured out right now. And like I
know it must be hard to have two people who
0:53:04.960,0:53:08.880
like I don't know if you guys resonate with like
shutting down or like you know things like that,
0:53:08.880,0:53:13.840
but like being non-confrontational is hard
because like sometimes it's easy to not ever
0:53:13.840,0:53:19.600
get to the thing that needs to be talked about.
But I'm also acknowledging that it sounds like
0:53:19.600,0:53:25.840
it comes from a place of upbringing upbringing and
like uh what you've witnessed at home. And I just
0:53:25.840,0:53:31.600
imagine it's something that a lot of people who
maybe share some of our identities can resonate
0:53:31.600,0:53:37.360
with. You know, I I think of it like kind of
like a pressure valve where like, you know,
0:53:37.360,0:53:42.000
all these things that you know, whether it
be like all the stresses we get from work,
0:53:42.000,0:53:46.400
stresses we get from just talking to family,
stresses we get from talking to friends,
0:53:46.400,0:53:53.120
all the stresses like it all boils with us in us
like in our own ways. And if we don't like decide
0:53:53.120,0:53:57.760
to be confrontational about it, it's going to come
out in other versions in other other aspects of
0:53:57.760,0:54:02.560
your life that may not be productive to you. And
so it's like a lot of the times like you know when
0:54:02.560,0:54:06.400
I maybe maybe I'm going through something I don't
even realize I'm going through something and you
0:54:06.400,0:54:11.680
know it's like a lot of the times like when I know
it comes out in ways like uh maybe I have a night
0:54:11.680,0:54:18.240
similar when I met Chelsea a lot of the stress
was coming from school at the time. Um, but like
0:54:18.240,0:54:22.320
a lot of times like you know I'm thinking back to
times like where I've been like that. It's like
0:54:22.320,0:54:26.720
wait have me and Chelsea talked a bit when you're
looking for like your partner. This is the person
0:54:26.720,0:54:31.920
that you that can be the reliable one that you
know you bring this confrontation up. Something's
0:54:31.920,0:54:35.840
going to get something's going to move. It's not
going to stay stagnant. That's really the key,
0:54:35.840,0:54:38.560
you know, key. Sometimes, you know, sometimes
you take a bad step. Sometimes, you know,
0:54:38.560,0:54:44.000
say the wrong thing. Um. Yeah. But that's all part
of just growing as a, you know, as a relationship,
0:54:44.000,0:54:50.000
right? It's something that you I think you know
navigating conflict is like a it's like a dance,
0:54:50.000,0:54:56.800
right? And like you dancers I forgot this.
It's like a dance. Yeah. Um but it's like a
0:54:56.800,0:54:59.760
dance where it's like sometimes like especially
when you're dancing with a new partner, it's
0:54:59.760,0:55:03.120
like kind of clunky and like awkward at first,
but then like you learn how the other person
0:55:03.120,0:55:08.480
moves and you learn patterns of the other person
and it's a process. It's a process that like is
0:55:08.480,0:55:13.680
kind of a lifetime process. Like it just keeps it
keeps happening. It keeps evolving and stuff. So
0:55:14.400,0:55:21.040
Um but thank you so much for sharing. I know it's
like a really um candid and vulnerable thing. So I
0:55:21.040,0:55:26.160
appreciate you sharing that with me and with you
know the podcast. Yeah. Okay. So something like
0:55:26.160,0:55:33.920
maybe on a lighter note. Can I pee? Me too. Oh
my god. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sorry I I missed that.
0:55:33.920,0:55:41.200
I was like yeah go pee. Yeah I'll go. Great. Yay.
I've never had a good espresso martini in public.
0:55:41.200,0:55:45.280
I Okay. So what you're saying is you have to make
me one. Exactly. Yeah. Make me one and it has to
0:55:45.280,0:55:51.040
be in the morning. It's all thanks to her cuz she
got me my espresso machine. Mhm. A gift. I know,
0:55:51.040,0:55:58.240
right? Perfect gift for him. I I like I saw the
gift and I was like I was like my first I I know
0:55:58.240,0:56:02.400
you were I know you were scared of this reaction.
Wait, wait, wait. Actually, can we cuz like this
0:56:02.400,0:56:06.880
is a this is really cute. Wait. So, yeah. What
you're saying is that you have to make me an
0:56:06.880,0:56:13.840
espresso martini. Yes. I Yes. So, uh I got into
espresso. So, I'm a really big fan of coffee. Um,
0:56:13.840,0:56:21.680
coffee. This is very, uh, it's very well known
in like my circles. Um, Chelsea, one of the very
0:56:21.680,0:56:27.520
first, I think it was our first year, second or
third. Second, yeah, second or third anniversary.
0:56:27.520,0:56:33.440
And, um, we got each other's like, you know, like
year gifts and like I saw like this big box. She's
0:56:33.440,0:56:37.040
like, "Hey, can you help me bring your gift into
the trunk?" And I was like, "Yeah." I was like,
0:56:37.040,0:56:41.360
like I was like, "Okay." Yeah. And I saw the
box and I was like I immediately knew what it
0:56:41.360,0:56:48.160
was just because I'm like but it was you couldn't
tell. Was it wrapped or No, it was not. It was a
0:56:48.160,0:56:52.080
big box. It was a big heavy box. It was like in
the in the in the delivery box. It was Yeah. It
0:56:52.080,0:56:57.920
didn't say exactly what it was, but you I knew
exactly what it was just because I like I know
0:56:57.920,0:57:04.640
the size of the thing and like I Wait, is it like
an actual espresso machine? It's a um I would say
0:57:04.640,0:57:10.240
it's the best starter. Okay. one you could get
that you can see at like coffee shops and stuff.
0:57:10.240,0:57:14.400
Not that quite. Okay. Like like but but it's like
but it's not like an espresso. It's like no it's
0:57:14.400,0:57:20.400
like it's like a legit like espresso machine and
I know it because like in I was like looking at
0:57:20.400,0:57:26.000
it kind of like daydreaming about getting one
and I saw it and I was like my my gut reaction
0:57:26.000,0:57:30.640
was this is way too damn much to be spending on.
Oh damn anniversary gift. It was her third year.
0:57:30.640,0:57:40.560
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember no I and like if it
wasn't such a good gift I probably would have been
0:57:40.560,0:57:48.720
a little but I'm like [ __ ] I really wanted one
like like that's like way too much but also like
0:57:48.720,0:57:54.320
I'm going to use it. I still use it to this day
and I think it's like it's one of the best gifts
0:57:54.320,0:57:59.680
I've ever gotten because of how much utility
I actually got from it. Yeah. And so like I'm
0:57:59.680,0:58:04.080
doing like these like being able to taste espresso
at home. I was like, "Wait a second." I was like,
0:58:04.080,0:58:08.960
"I'm making espresso like I normally do at work,
but I can now I can make espresso martinis now."
0:58:08.960,0:58:12.320
Right. You can you can actually make whatever you
want. You don't have to make whatever the hell I
0:58:12.320,0:58:18.320
want. Oh my god. Um so in Northern California,
I have yet to have a good espresso martini. Um
0:58:18.320,0:58:23.440
so what makes a good espresso martini? Um
good espresso. Okay. Okay. I think I think
0:58:23.440,0:58:28.000
that I think that's what a lot of places are
lacking. Yeah, they're there to serve drinks,
0:58:28.000,0:58:32.720
not coffee. And you know, it's like and like
I get it like the places that do like they'll
0:58:32.720,0:58:37.680
take the time to invest and a lot of the time they
don't have they don't have time to make it. Oh my
0:58:37.680,0:58:46.720
gosh. So Genesis told you his plan, right? Like
he wants to open a cafe bar, the blackout bar.
0:58:46.720,0:58:52.400
When he told me that, I was like, that is genius.
Cafe in the morning. So bar at night. Yeah. So, he
0:58:52.400,0:58:59.680
should hire you as like the buyer. You know, I'm a
little disappointed he I was in these talks. I was
0:58:59.680,0:59:06.000
in these talks. Yeah, I know. He didn't mention
you. Co-founder. Co-founder, right? But yeah, I
0:59:06.000,0:59:11.920
would love to try cuz I have never tried one. And
the beauty is we I can make a decaf cuz it's at
0:59:11.920,0:59:17.360
home. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. They're not going
to serve a decaf. To be honest, they're probably
0:59:17.360,0:59:21.760
not even putting espresso. They're probably just
putting Kúa and vodka and calling it a day. Oh
0:59:21.760,0:59:28.000
god. Glue isn't bad, but the espressos that's like
the fun of it, you know. Wait, so Chelsea, do you
0:59:28.000,0:59:34.320
like that's such a lovely gift? Do you like gift
giving? I have a hard time giving gifts actually.
0:59:34.320,0:59:39.440
Like I Cuz I find that giving gifts to men, not to
generalize, but like giving gifts to men is hard.
0:59:39.440,0:59:43.520
Actually, Brad's not hard because he likes he's
very passionate about what he likes. But yeah,
0:59:43.520,0:59:48.640
I think like it was kind of easy. Well, obviously
very easy there. I sometimes honestly sometimes
0:59:48.640,0:59:53.440
giving gifts to Jesse is pretty easy because he's
very vocal about the things that he wants like
0:59:53.440,0:59:59.200
he does like a lot of practical gifts but also
because we like talk about music a lot he also
0:59:59.200,1:00:04.480
expresses you know a lot of like the vinyls he
wants or like any kind of artist he wants so it's
1:00:04.480,1:00:09.120
you know he can always get it for himself but you
know like everything yeah you don't have to get it
1:00:09.120,1:00:14.160
for yourself especially like an espresso machine
that you were very much like I don't want to spend
1:00:14.160,1:00:20.000
the money on this you do you have a do you have a
favorite gift that he does? Do I have a favorite
1:00:20.000,1:00:25.040
gift? Oh, I mean I I I don't have a particular
item, but I really I love like handwritten notes,
1:00:25.040,1:00:31.440
handwritten letters. So, every card that he's ever
gotten me, I've it's on a pile like I re I reread
1:00:31.440,1:00:37.440
them every once in a while. Yeah. Wow. So, you
write like I It's It's actually my only reason
1:00:37.440,1:00:42.960
to write actually. I don't really write in like
handwritten handwritten stuff in any other context
1:00:42.960,1:00:48.400
besides give uh giving gifts to others. Um, and
she just happens to be the biggest recipient of
1:00:48.400,1:00:53.760
most of my gifts that I ever do. But like I even
try to like I think what I'm I think I tried to
1:00:53.760,1:01:00.320
do was um make birthday cards just like for anyone
who invites me to something. It's like they take
1:01:00.320,1:01:04.400
the time and like you know what? Yeah, that's
right. You wrote me a card for Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1:01:04.400,1:01:09.840
Which I don't know if I feel like people don't
usually they don't and I I think it's like there's
1:01:09.840,1:01:13.360
a little bit of effort involved but it's like
even like the fact of getting one like I think
1:01:13.360,1:01:19.200
it's always Yeah. I think it's just another reason
to That's so sweet. So, you have all of them that
1:01:19.200,1:01:25.360
he's given to you. That's so sweet. I remember
um I think it was from our third anniversary or
1:01:25.360,1:01:31.680
maybe it was like a card that you got me as like a
part of my graduation gift. Um there was a moment
1:01:31.680,1:01:37.360
in time where after the graduation I like took it
every with me cuz I would like want to reread it.
1:01:37.360,1:01:42.800
But then for like I don't know maybe a few months
I was like oh where is it? I can't find it. Oh no.
1:01:42.800,1:01:47.600
And it made me like so sad for the longest
time. Um, but I realized like I was looking
1:01:47.600,1:01:52.240
for a folder that had all my play bills from like
shows I've been to and I kept it in there. I think
1:01:52.240,1:01:57.120
maybe when I was reorganizing I was like, "Oh,
thank God." Oh my god. I can't even imagine how
1:01:57.120,1:02:02.800
scary that must have been. Yeah. Oh my god. Like
your prized possessions like Have you found them
1:02:02.800,1:02:08.640
then? I have. I found them. So that's like what
four years of cards? Yeah. I mean birthday cards,
1:02:08.640,1:02:14.880
um, graduation gift stuff. Oh, I love that. is
kind of like celebration. Christmas. Christmas.
1:02:14.880,1:02:20.560
Christmas. So cute. Yeah. So, you guys have been
together for 4 years. We only really talked about,
1:02:20.560,1:02:25.280
you know, when you guys met to when you started
dating, but there's so much that happened between
1:02:25.280,1:02:32.720
then and now. So, what is a favorite, not
favorite, but like a really fond, you know,
1:02:32.720,1:02:37.040
special memory that you guys have? And it can
be different. There's a lot that happened in
1:02:37.040,1:02:43.280
between. I'm not going to lie. Yesterday was kind
of fun. Like, I have like it like it was really
1:02:43.280,1:02:50.560
just like a tourist day. I I I think the one like
there's not a particular memory but when House of
1:02:50.560,1:02:56.560
Dragons was on we would always be like the first
season. The first season yeah I haven't seen the
1:02:56.560,1:03:03.040
second season. We would always be looking forward
to like the Sundays. I Sundays u I just remember
1:03:03.040,1:03:08.000
like throwing that throughout that entire process
and this is not just House of Dragons. We do this
1:03:08.000,1:03:13.440
like for all the shows that we kind of like watch
like when it comes out. Um we'll watch the we'll
1:03:13.440,1:03:17.760
watch the episode, we'll talk about the episode,
we'll watch other people's analysis of the of
1:03:17.760,1:03:24.000
their episodes. That's so cute. Um I'm always
appreciative of something like I think for me I
1:03:24.000,1:03:29.680
value being able to give commentary on stuff maybe
that you experience together I think is valuable
1:03:29.680,1:03:35.200
and I think that you know that's kind of like a
thing I do enjoy us doing. So not particularly a
1:03:35.200,1:03:39.520
memory but just kind of a practice. Yeah. No, I
love that. Well, thank you. You gave me two. So,
1:03:39.520,1:03:44.000
you gave me that really special date that you guys
had yesterday and then also just like, you know,
1:03:44.000,1:03:49.840
something that feels like a Yeah. like a ritual
that you guys had. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mine I think
1:03:49.840,1:03:55.920
for me I I also don't have a particular memory.
Yeah. I think like maybe it's recency bias with
1:03:55.920,1:04:01.360
like the day from yesterday, but I really enjoy
when we kind of just have like an impromptu day
1:04:01.360,1:04:05.760
where like we kind of just do things one after
the other and like we're in total agreement of
1:04:05.760,1:04:08.800
like is that what happened yesterday? Yeah,
that's basically what happened cuz I think
1:04:08.800,1:04:14.480
we were actually we wanted to just go on a picnic.
Go on a picnic, but it was raining. It rained that
1:04:14.480,1:04:20.240
morning. So, okay. So, I was like I was like I'm
not trying to get my pants wet. That's fair. Um, I
1:04:20.240,1:04:26.480
think we were we were going somewhere originally.
I don't remember. I just remember. But either way,
1:04:26.480,1:04:30.720
it sounds like you went into it without very many
things on the itinerary, but like you ended up
1:04:30.720,1:04:36.960
having this like picture perfect date. Yeah. So,
okay. So, that was a lot of it was spontaneous
1:04:36.960,1:04:41.760
then. Yeah. And that's what you do. You guys do
that often? I think so. Actually, a lot of our SF
1:04:41.760,1:04:45.760
days are kind of just unplanned. Sometimes we
will have a plan and then we don't follow and
1:04:45.760,1:04:49.760
then we just end up doing something else. Yeah. Oh
my gosh. So what? You guys are just like driving
1:04:49.760,1:04:54.640
be like, "Hey, should we do this or just walk?"
Well, we're just walking. Yeah. Well, actually,
1:04:54.640,1:05:01.360
yeah, cuz driving in SF is a nightmare. I never I
would I will do anything I can to avoid driving.
1:05:01.360,1:05:06.240
Mhm. Yeah. That's fair. So, you're in the right
place then, right? That's Wait, so how do you
1:05:06.240,1:05:12.960
get around Ubers? Public transportation. Mhm. Like
the metro and So, we'll do MUN. MUN. Sorry. Gosh,
1:05:12.960,1:05:19.760
obviously I'm not in town. Uh, we do MUN a lot.
Um, if we need to get to somewhere urgently, we
1:05:19.760,1:05:27.840
do use Whimo. Um, not You've used Whimo? Yeah. How
is it? It's good. It's good. It's cheaper than an
1:05:27.840,1:05:33.360
Uber. Really? It is. I say this all the time. Like
unfortunately, Whimo is like even here or in San
1:05:33.360,1:05:38.000
Francisco, it's way more cheaper than if I were
to take like an Uber or Lift to work for like a
1:05:38.000,1:05:43.520
15-minute ride or like even from work to the ferry
building for a 4-minute ride, it's like 16 bucks.
1:05:43.520,1:05:49.280
Um, but I mean obviously that kind of accounts for
like, you know, the driver. Yeah. Which is like it
1:05:49.280,1:05:52.720
makes sense. It's fine. I'm okay with tipping,
especially if it's like a service provided to
1:05:52.720,1:05:57.840
me. But like I I think about it sometimes like
it being like $10 for a 10-minute ride in San
1:05:57.840,1:06:03.440
Francisco with Whimo. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I I try We try to use the public
1:06:03.440,1:06:09.360
transportation as much as we can. Way more. Which
is why it might be I think it's probably a good
1:06:09.360,1:06:15.360
reason why a lot of the stuff we do is unprompted
is because like our mode of transportation like
1:06:15.360,1:06:20.480
sometimes like what's in front of us dictates like
like sometimes we like have this plan it's like
1:06:20.480,1:06:26.480
uh I don't want to walk all the way to that bus
stop and wait for 13 minutes. Let's just let's
1:06:26.480,1:06:30.640
just do this instead. You know, sometimes that's
just how it goes. When I'm with other people,
1:06:30.640,1:06:37.600
I feel like I'm very I whatever's like the path
of least resistance, just go with like whatever
1:06:37.600,1:06:41.760
whatever makes everyone happy, I'll do it. It's
like I just I'll be very vocal be like, "Okay,
1:06:41.760,1:06:47.200
I I don't want to do this. I want to I love that.
You don't have to Yeah. Yeah. You can actually
1:06:47.200,1:06:51.360
you can actually voice what you want." Oh, yeah.
Which is nice. Are you guys usually on the same
1:06:51.360,1:06:56.800
page with that? It's like, "Oh, I also don't want
to walk." Yeah, most of the time. Yeah. What does
1:06:56.800,1:07:02.880
that look? Sometimes I feel like I'll say it and
then she's like, "Let's do it." Well, that's good
1:07:02.880,1:07:08.560
then. Then I don't have anything in mind. And you
know, obviously like he's had more time to explore
1:07:08.560,1:07:13.520
his area more than I have. Um, and you know, I
just trust it. You know, if like it's something
1:07:13.520,1:07:18.000
that he wants to do too, I'm happy to join. If
there's something I want to do, I'll say it. Like,
1:07:18.000,1:07:20.880
you know, it's happened before. Like, you know, if
there's something you want to do, but like I want
1:07:20.880,1:07:27.520
to do something more, let's do that. A well, thank
you guys so much for sharing. Just to close things
1:07:27.520,1:07:32.800
out, is there anything that you guys are looking
forward to that's coming up anytime soon? I feel
1:07:32.800,1:07:36.640
like there's always something to look forward to.
That's a thing like we'll think about like Oh,
1:07:36.640,1:07:40.720
like we'll have something next weekend or maybe
like a few weekends from now. Like I we have our
1:07:40.720,1:07:46.160
Google calendars shared with each other. I love
that. Love that. This is becoming a recurring
1:07:46.160,1:07:51.600
thing I'm noticing is that it's just easier. Yeah.
Coordinate with especially with just friends like
1:07:51.600,1:07:57.520
Yeah. Everyone's busy. Everyone is so busy. Oh
yeah. Oh my gosh. I don't know. Not in the near
1:07:57.520,1:08:02.960
future, but we've talked about it often. Like um
we talked about like wanting to do trips more,
1:08:02.960,1:08:08.720
like going to travel. For our anniversary,
we went to Carmel. Um Oh, nice. Yeah. So,
1:08:08.720,1:08:12.960
that was fun because um it was just kind of an us
thing. Um cuz often times when we're traveling,
1:08:12.960,1:08:18.800
it'll be with other people. Um we haven't really
done anything just us like go out somewhere away
1:08:18.800,1:08:23.680
from the area. Yeah. Um, that's one of my goals
is I think especially like to see parts of the
1:08:23.680,1:08:30.800
um seeing the parts that New York like just places
that like people have been to that I have not like
1:08:30.800,1:08:35.680
east like I haven't been to the east coast and I
know Chelsea's family is like on the east coast
1:08:35.680,1:08:41.120
Toronto we've talked about I I proposed Toronto
um cuz I want to visit family there as well. Um
1:08:41.120,1:08:45.200
can you're not Canadian are you? No. Okay.
I was like were you born there? No. Well,
1:08:45.200,1:08:50.800
my my dad um he lived a lot of his life in
Toronto. Okay. So, we his side of the family,
1:08:50.800,1:08:55.040
it's in the they're in the Philippines, but also
in Toronto. Cool. Um and I've been there once, but
1:08:55.040,1:08:58.400
I do want to visit there again, especially during
the summer cuz I've heard it's really nice in the
1:08:58.400,1:09:02.800
summer. I heard it's like only nice in the summer
and then it just like cold. The one time I was
1:09:02.800,1:09:07.280
there, it was a snowstorm like it was horrible.
Oh god. But, you know, it's something that I do
1:09:07.280,1:09:12.160
want to go back to, you know, see family again and
I' I'd love for him to go as well and, you know,
1:09:12.160,1:09:18.480
meet my other part of my family. So yeah. Yeah.
Cool. Well, you have to post photos. I know you
1:09:18.480,1:09:22.640
guys are both kind of not on Instagram right now,
but No. Yeah, totally. But I'd love to hear about
1:09:22.640,1:09:28.640
them. Yeah, we're I think me and Chelsea are
the same way on Instagram. We are on Instagram,
1:09:28.640,1:09:35.760
but we're not on Instagram. It's It's a lot to
be on Instagram right now. Yeah. Yeah. So, but
1:09:35.760,1:09:41.520
I'd love to hear about the trips that you guys are
planning on going to and then go on in the future.
1:09:41.520,1:09:48.640
Um, but I am so happy and grateful that you
guys were on the podcast. Episode five. Oh,
1:09:48.640,1:09:56.320
yeah. First podcast ever. It's been so nice,
honestly, hearing about your guys' story and yeah,
1:09:56.320,1:10:00.560
just thank you so much. Thank you for inviting me.
I love being here. It's so much so much fun. Oh my
1:10:00.560,1:10:06.160
god. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad it was enjoyable
for you guys cuz I I feel like when I ask people
1:10:06.160,1:10:11.520
to be on the podcast, people get nervous about
it because it's like the podcast for sure. But it
1:10:11.520,1:10:15.600
got easier, right? It got easier. It actually got
easy the second we like entered the door. Like I
1:10:15.600,1:10:19.360
like I like forgot. I'm like, "Oh, wait. This is
Yeah, you guys, we're actually doing something.
1:10:19.360,1:10:23.680
We're not just sitting and hanging out." Yeah. But
yeah, thank you so much for listening. And if you
1:10:23.680,1:10:30.160
enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and follow
me on Ordinary Love podcast. And if you or anybody
1:10:30.160,1:10:36.160
else that you know would love to be on the podcast
as well, please reach out. I'm always looking for
1:10:36.160,1:10:57.280
new couples to interview. Um but yeah, thank
you so much and see you next time. Thank you.